Here’s Why I Love You But I’m Okay With or Without You

Not everyone will be there for you, not everyday someone can free their time to meet you. It’s not everyday they want to join you for lunch. It’s not everyday someone has the kind heart to help you out.
And holding grudges against them is a waste of time. The best thing to do? Love your self, love your own company.

I want to fill in my heart with so much happiness that I don’t have to depend on others for it. If you’re making me happy, thank you. And if you’re not? I don’t care. My happiness doesnt depend on anyone nor anything. I’ve went through tough times to be my very own happiness.

I want to keep falling in love to myself over and over again that I don’t need someone’s heart for it. If you’re here to love me, thank you. But if you’re just here to hurt me? Don’t waste your time. I have loved myself so much to feel less loved just because a douche tried to.

I want to be okay every after any bad situation. When I have to face endings, when I have to experience loss. I will definitely shed some tears, or even mourn or even get mad. But I don’t like to see my world crashing down before my eyes as if that’s the only thing I have. I am more than that. I have been through dark places of my life and there will never be a situation that will put me back in the darkness again. I’ve been through a LOT and I will never ever forget who I am just because someone decided to come, inflict pain on me and leave.

And most especially..

I want to open my door for someone who’s worthy of my world. Someone who will give me extra hand on taking care of my heart. Someone who will make me feel I am on cloud 9. Someone who will make me feel I’m the happiest person alive. But I don’t want him owning me— owning what I have put up for my self. I will never allow him to break my heart just because he offered me a helping hand to hold it. I will never allow him to drown me of emptiness. Because he came in to my world with my heart so strong and full and I’m not going back to square one just because I fell inlove with him and didn’t see this downfall coming. I know better. I want to know better. I should know better.

But if your intentions are pure, come and join me in my world. I’ll share with you my dance floor where you can see my raw self, the self I don’t normally share, but for you, I will. I will share with you my happiness, the happiness I’ve worked so hard for. But always know that, just because I share all these to you doesn’t mean I’m sharing everything of it to you. I will decide how much I will give out. Also, please know that you are not replacing the love and happiness that I already have for my self, you are just adding to what’s previously there.

I will love you, so much even. But not more than my self. I will be your number one fan, supporter, adviser, bestfriend. We’ll go head over heels each other. I will love you on your worst days and sides. Believe me when I say that, because I have loved my dirtiest side so it’s not hard for me to love that same side of the person I decided to open my heart to. 

It’s gonna be an alien feeling, sharing a part of me to you, but I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be amazing. There will be bad days but I’m going to love you most days, or maybe all days.

But hey listen. I am beautiful on my own. Even before you came, before you danced with me, before you laughed with me, even without your helping hands— I am inlove with myself and beautiful on my own already.

So don’t get me wrong if I’ll say, if things don’t end the way we envisioned it to be, I will be okay.

Because with or without you, I am okay.